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Advice to My 18 Year​-​Old Self

from Nhojj Poetry Vol. 3 by Nhojj

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It’s never too late to say what could have been said... and it’s ok to say, to one’s self, what others couldn’t say to you... 

lyrics

You taste freedom on your lips.  And it is sweet.  All your life, you have been squeezing between the letters of The Word.  Enclosed on either side by religious eyes that didn’t see you, holy ears that didn’t hear you and sanctified mouths that preached sermons that didn’t move you.  You have been wearing the suite and tie of expectation and propriety, and now you are free.  Yes there was laughter and friendship and music and love, but you hungered for acceptance too.

Now you are here, ready to take a bite out of the Big Apple.  While you wrap your mind around college, X-rays and technology, allow me to plant some seeds that will sprout in due time.

Career
Your aims are sensible and it is good to be sensible, sometimes, but your passions, as irrational as they may seem, are also valuable, and they too deserve your attention and protection. 

Pleasure
Do not be afraid of the big “P”.  Do not lock pleasure up in a steel box because others have done so.  Yes it can burn worse than hot wax on bare skin, but that just means care and respect are due.  You already sense the importance of finding your own answers to the questions of this life.  Now remember this, your desires define you just as much as your genes do.  Embrace them safely and lovingly and honestly.  

Sexuality 
You live in a culture that has, from the very beginning, communicated its misogyny, homophobia and transphobia to you.  You saw “those men” walking the streets at night, some dressed in women’s clothing, amidst the disappointment and decay of slum life, and you knew, without a doubt, they were society’s outcaste, the lowest of the low.  You heard the taunts from kids who didn’t even know your name, and you felt the net closing in and you ran, scared.  But, as time will tell, you cannot run from yourself...    

There is a reason for your homosexuality.  It is a piece of the puzzle that is your life.  When you begin to fit all the pieces together, you will see the big picture forming, and you will realize how beautiful you are.  

How beautiful you are
Beautiful you are
You are
You

credits

from Nhojj Poetry Vol. 3, track released June 16, 2018
Written & performed by Nhojj
Contains sample of "Dream" by Nhojj

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Nhojj Orlando, Florida

Singer/songwriter and poet wading through the rivers of R&B, soul, jazz, and reggae.

My intention is to create sonic spaces where you can experience yourself through the lens of love and acceptance.

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