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I Said Yes When I Should Have Said No

from Nhojj Poetry Vol. 1 by Nhojj

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There is great power in saying yes, and there is great power in saying no. Iyanla Vanzant recommends we build our ‘no’ muscle by finding 101 ways to say no.

It’s about honoring our truth and respecting our boundaries... knowing we are as good, and as worthy as everyone else in the room.

Just recently I realized I’d once again found myself in this predicament... I got caught up in the movement of agreement, swept away by a tide of group think. But anger soon came to the rescue...

lyrics

It seems
I said yes when I should have said no.

History was repeating himself. This habit I forgot I had. But this habit had not forgotten it had me. I gave it life... my life.

So now it returned for another ride on this merry-go-round called life. For me a test. Will I pass or will this ferris-wheel toss me to the ground again.

“But this situation could improve...”
“It could get better...”
“Maybe things will change...”
“Maybe it’s me...”
“Should I really pass up this opportunity...”

The list of rationalizations grows long and weighs me down

Ok

Wait and see...
If you feel you must
But don’t wait too long
Remember your past...
Your past is waiting
To be repeated

There is nothing for your past to do in the past but sit at that station, feet dangling off that bench, bored, waiting for your train to arrive so that leg of your journey can be repeated

Again and again and again
Until you learn the lesson
Your soul came here to learn
Let the past go...

Fact is
I was trying to please
Guilted into compliance
“You have so much, give a little...”
“Remember all I have done for you...”
That and a bit of flattery too
That’s how I fell...

But anger never steers you wrong. Anger is that great indicator. That flashing red light lovingly warns of danger ahead. Anger is that tree you crash into when you veer off the highway of your soul, drunk off of the liquor someone else gave you because you stayed too long in bars. Beware anger whispers...

We often misread anger... lash out when we should look in. So I shine a flashlight on this darkness engulfing me, and realize I have made a mistake. I’ve boarded this luxury cruise-ship with ‘friends’ when I really wanted to explore that little creek in a canoe.

credits

from Nhojj Poetry Vol. 1, track released December 9, 2017
Written & performed by Nhojj
Contains sample of "Free" by Nhojj

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Nhojj Orlando, Florida

Singer/songwriter and poet wading through the rivers of R&B, soul, jazz, and reggae.

My intention is to create sonic spaces where you can experience yourself through the lens of love and acceptance.

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